- Porn
3 weeks 3 days ago - This site is so
3 weeks 4 days ago - Nice photos and your site is
3 weeks 4 days ago - Discounted UK Tiffany
6 weeks 4 days ago - dder ujhnuj Juicy Couture
7 weeks 6 days ago - aserdc rft gfgv Juicy Couture
7 weeks 6 days ago - qawdedr errv Juicy Couture
7 weeks 6 days ago - efrt tgy rf Juicy Couture
7 weeks 6 days ago - dfr5t tybt rgft Juicy Couture
7 weeks 6 days ago - dfrtdtv rtbvg Juicy Couture
7 weeks 6 days ago
Comments
Q: How many sopranos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Just one, she holds the bulb in the socket and the world revolves around her.
Can we expand it to include other musicians?
Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, they have machines that do that now
Q:Why do bagpipers always march when they play?
A1: To get away from the noise
A2: It's always harder to hit a moving target
Q: What did the drummer get on his IQ test?
A: Drool.
Q: How do you know when there's a keyboardist at the door?
A: The knocking keeps speeding up and they don't know when to come in.
Ok that's enough for now.
- HB
Liked the drummer jokes!
:lol:
Didn't like the keyboardist joke.
...but if I'm being an honest keyboarder :oops:
a man with three buttocks
choir jokes
What do you see if you look up a soprano's skirt?
A tenor.
Hey wait a minute...I'm a tenor...and what's that about three men and a tenor....tenors are men too, aren't they? I don't get it...
If these jokes are revenge from those of you who didn't understand the physics jokes, congratulations...cuz I don't get these :P
Well, I had to do something! :D
I get both! Haha!
*feels superior*
now bring on the math, chemistry, microbiology, martial-arts, bad b-movie, actor, computer, and dancer jokes!!!
All that glitters has a high refractive index.
oops...almost forgot Tolkien jokes.
Those too.
All that glitters has a high refractive index.
Two professors are standing outside the Math building. As they chat, two people come out of the building and one goes in. One mathematician turns to the other and says "If another person goes in, there'll be exactly zero people in that building!"
Bwahahahahaa!!
Now that's just silly.
I'll see if I can look up that calculus limerick that I think is the best thing since sliced bread.
All that glitters has a high refractive index.
found it!
Work it out....it's right!
Integral t-squared dt
from 1 to the square root of 3
times the cosine
of three pi over 9
equals log of the cube root of 'e'
heehee.....
All that glitters has a high refractive index.
Ooh, ooh, I have a quantum cryptography limerick!
To read our email, how mean
Of the spies and their quantum machine
Be comforted, though, for they do not yet know
How to factorize twelve and fifteen
EDIT: If anyone gets this, I'll love you forever :D
Okay you math and science people, go back to your own thread!! :P
*Goes to Steph's resume*
1998 - 2001: T.L.Kennedy S.S.
Mississauga, ON
High School Diploma
. Awards: Honour Roll, Computers (marks of 96%, 95%, and 99%), Exceptional Classroom Behaviour, Most Promising Senior Writer, Drama Award, Music Award, Peer Tutor Award for 50 volunteer hours, top ten ranking in Mathematics competitions, Principal's Leadership Award, Runner-up for Valedictorian
Uh huh, yeah I thought so... Steph == closet mathematician :P
(from the stagehand side of things....)
Q: How do you know when the drum riser is level?
A: The drool comes out of both sides of the drummer's mouth.
Q: What do you call a drummer who breaks up with his girlfriend?
A: Homeless.
And....
Blaze's law of theatrical counting:
Sound techs can count to two
Drummers can count to 4
Dancers can count to 8.... but think it starts at 5
Lighting techs can count as high as you want.... just not in order
Ushers can count as high as you want... but keep forgetting 13
Deck-hands count on getting a T-shirt when the concert is over
Prop-tarts don't count.
:P
Blaze
--------
A warrior is judged by his enemies,
A man by his friends.
Umm..... I thought you just got done saying (in that other thread) that this would go against your nature.
:)
(hee hee)
Blaze
--------
A warrior is judged by his enemies,
A man by his friends.
And.. in a cross-posting frenzy....
Q: Why did the Gorean Masters magazine go out of business?
A: None of the writers were willing to submit.
(okay.. .that's bad... but it makes me giggle anyway.)
Blaze
--------
A warrior is judged by his enemies,
A man by his friends.
Lies, all lies! :P
How many altos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1. None. They can't get that high.
2. Two; one to screw it in and the other to say, "Isn't that a little high for you?"
And some definitions:
* upbeat: a threat made to singers, i.e. sing, or else....
* crescendo: a reminder to the singer that he has been singing too loudly.
* conductor: a musician who is adept at following many people at the same time.
* transposition: the act of moving the relative pitch of a piece of music that is too low for the basses to a point where it is too high for the sopranos.
* vibrato: used by singers to hide the fact that they are out of tune.
* coloratura soprano: a singer who has great trouble finding the proper note, but who has a wild time hunting for it.
* bar line: a gathering of people, usually among which may be found a musician or two.
* cadence: when everybody hopes you're going to stop, but you don't.
Why are so many chellists female?
-Because they like something big between their legs.
(Bad, but there aren't too many good chellist jokes. I know, I used to play one.)
Field Marshal Phoenix Hawk
41st Corsairs Regimental Combat Team
(The Black Hawks)
Federated Suns
Flutists can triple tongue.
Harpists keep stringing you along.
Pianists ... *yuck* how could you do that there!
My uncle was taking Intro to Music in college. The teacher wanted to get an idea of who knew anything and asked the class to stand. As he called out instruments (starting with those that played nothing), that group was to sit down.
After sitting most of the class by naming the common instruments, the professor kept rattling off the less common. And still, Uncle stood, waiting. Alone.
More and more esoteric the teacher got. And still he stood. Grinning.
"Fine. What do you play?"
"I'm a bagpiper."
"And you call that music?"
ambrosia is all three... hmmmm... 8O
Hmm, maybe years of atrophy have finally taken their toll on my math skills, but shouldn't it be "from 1 to the cube root of 3"?
--- insert self-defining witty quote here ---
Erica and ambrosia, nothing against either of you on a personal level, but get the hell out.
jeez, not even a JOKE thread in the MUSIC section of the forums is safe from your incessant scientificality!!!! GAH!!!!!!!!
On another note:
How do you get two saxaphonists to play in perfect harmony?
Shoot one.
- HB
Poor Haddock-Boy. So you don't want to hear how my wife learned to sum fractions by transcribing them into notes?
That would be kinda neat actually. Mostly because it sounds somewhat practical.
what I don't give a crap about is quantacalculiochemiphysics or anything based on it.
But that's probably just me, and I'm probably just bitter. :wink:
- HB
BWahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHahahahaHAHAHAhaaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You're right. That's WAY more practical than flaky superfluous things like, oh, PHYSICS.
Hey HB, what's the Fourier transform of a constant?
This:
No, it's definitely NOT just you. Because there's no place on this board for geek girls.
Or threadjacking, for that matter. No one here does that :wink:
Spaz/Steph, maybe one of you could implement killfiles on this board as a present for HB?
Yes, I'm just being a smartass. Not offended at all, just that a smartass post deserves a smartass response :P
Pre-emptively, not directed at anyone in particular: I KNOW that it is annoying to post sci/math jokes in a music jokes thread. I am sorry about that. I'm just chronically sarcastic -- don't blame me, I get it from my momma.
Erica wrote
REALLY? I'd never have guessed :lol:
/was raised in a family of smartasses :D
and remember boys and girls, the word sarcasm is latin for cutting skin.
"Keep looking for it....you'll find it."
-Perry Marshall
I wish you well.
I know NOTHING about that...;)
I want.....
I want bad......
- HB
Does anybody know any scathing jokes about trumpet players who are also drummers?
All that glitters has a high refractive index.
luckily enough, I know plenty of both. You've already heard a bunch of the drummer ones, so I'd better balance it out a little.
Q: What's the trumpet player's most effective form of birth control?
A: His personality
Q: What's the difference between a trumpet player and a government bond?
A: Government bonds eventually mature and start making money
Q: What do you call a trumpet player with half a brain?
A: Gifted
...And just cause these are fun....
Q: What's the difference between a flute and an onion?
A: Nobody cries when you cut a flute into tiny pieces.
:D
- HB